My dad (57M) and I (27M) are fighting because I admitted I don't want his new wife (55F) to be anywhere near my wedding?

My mom died last year and my dad got married in June. She was over a year gone when he remarried but he started dating his wife six months after we lost my mom. Since he met her there have been clashes between us because I didn't want to meet her straight away and because I didn't show excitement to meet/have her in my life. My sisters didn't either but was more understanding because he said daughters mourn differently to sons and he said I should be man enough to be happy for him and happy to have a woman back in our family as a matriarch. I was engaged when my mom died and my wife and I are getting married in a couple of months. My dad's wife desperately wanted to be involved in the wedding in some way and she contacted my fiancée and me to enquire about helping or what sort of familial hosting she could do. We thanked her for her interest but said she didn't need to do anything. It pissed my dad off and he confronted me about it. I made him leave but he came back a second and a third time and then he told me I act like I don't want her to even be at my wedding and I admitted that I didn't. I said I wished she would be nowhere near it and that it was painful to think she'll be there instead of my mom. We argued back and forth over the topic and he asked me if she would be there as nothing more than a plus one and I confirmed that it was all she would be. I told him she will never be the matriarch to my family and she will never be able to fill in for my mom. He said I was treating my wedding as a fuck you to both of them and I was going to publicly humiliate her by treating her as not even family. He said they did nothing wrong when they married and my mom has been gone for over a year now and I need to be an adult and handle things like an adult and welcome his wife to the family or else I'll ruin our relationship. I told him I wasn't in a position to do that and he brought up yet again my wish to not have his wife attend my wedding. He has tried to keep the fight going over the phone but I have refused to engage further. He knows how I feel and the fighting won't change it. But this is stressful because we're getting closer and closer to the wedding and my dad admits he can't stand me and we can't speak right now without it becoming a fight even a one way fight. I'm looking for advice because I feel like has forever changed our relationship but maybe it doesn't have to ruin it forever? Or maybe it does, I'm not even able to give this 100% of my attention which is good and bad. submitted by /u/ThrowRASylexanixia to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]