What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

My(18M) girlfriend (19F) confessed she mig…

BTW she says girl pronouns for now I’ve been dating this girl for like 7months now. I gotta be real, i’m not that into her. My hearts never really super in it with any of my relationships. Idk I have girlfriends because my dad wants me to be dating and wife someone up, and it’s nice to have someone around. She’s great, really nice and probably the funniest person i’ve ever met. I try to treat her right and all that, but i feel pretty guilty because I feel like i do romantic stuff just because I have to, I don’t really like doing it. Last night, my girlfriend confessed that she thinks she wants to be a guy. She was crying and i comforted her and stuff. She told me that she’s felt this way for a long time but she is still really unsure. I tried to be there for her, and I think i did a pretty good job considering I’m way out of my depths here. After she fell asleep i researched female to male transgender stuff, read all about it, etc. I don’t know that much about lgbt, my parents hated all of that and i grew up in a very conservative area (Russia) before moving to USA. So my apologies if I am not using the right words, please let me know if I said anything wrong. But I would like to think i’m very accepting, totally cool with lgbt i just really don’t know much about it. However, when I was researching, I saw that to medically transition genders the people take testosterone and get surgeries and stuff. And I was just imagining my girlfriend with facial hair and no boobs and all that. And I found myself just smiling imagining it, it seemed really nice. I was just sitting in bed imagining us doing masculine stuff together. Ive been wanting to take her hunting, and i imagined us hunting but her as a guy and us like making out and jerking each other off. And it’s like the hottest thing i’ve thought about, ever. I read that some people have fetishes for transgender people and thats not ok. I hope this is not that; it’s not that I want transgender people, I just want my girlfriend to be a guy. That sounds gay when I say it like that, I swear I’m not gay lol In the morning, I asked if she has ever wanted to go on the hormones or get the surgeries. She said yes and she told me she feels really bad about it, because she dated me feeling this way. She says she never intended to do anything about it, and she still probably won’t.She told me a big reason why not is because then we would have to break up because I don’t like guys and she loves me. I told her I want her to be happy and live as her true self. I didn’t really say anything about the breaking up part. I think she assumes that means I will break up with her if she decides to actually transition. How tf do i tell her i want her to transition and get surgeries? Obviously I don’t want to push her one way or the other, it’s all her decision to make, but she is clearly already basing her choices at least partially on me. submitted by /u/CryingLimes to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]