What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

I 29M broke up with my girlfriend 29F over…

I 29 M have been dating 29 F for about 7 months, since November 2025. Sometimes she goes out with her friends and I don’t mind dropping them off especially if I have something else I have to do in the city. Anyway yesterday she said they’d be ready at 810pm, so I got there at 810pm and long story short they weren’t actually ready to leave until 945pm. She knows I’m taking an exam next month to try to get back into school and my time is tight these days. During this time her friend keeps commenting about “I’m no fun”. I don’t really like confrontation esp with women so I just waited and dropped them off. Called her this morning and ended it. UPDATE: this is probably the third time. First time was on her birthday. I planned on her being late so I made multiple dinner reservations Second time. Her and her friend had a birthday dinner they were maybe 45 mins late TLDR: broke up with my girlfriend for wasting my time I feel good about my decision, but just wanted to see what others think? submitted by /u/Used-Bullfrog-1923 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]