What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

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Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

My stepmother (41F) has her third high ris…

My stepmother (41F) was my dad's affair partner for two or three years. When my mom found out about dad's (46M) affair she fell apart mentally. She already suffered from major depressive disorder but she got really bad after learning about the affair and just after the divorce from my dad was finalized she died by suicide. I (18F) didn't learn of the affair until my mom died and it broke me. That was five years ago and I had to then had to live with my dad and stepmother. They told me to either take a step back from my parents relationship and just accept them being together because the rest is none of my business or understand that my dad was with a mentally ill woman for 20 something years and he deserved to chase happiness where he could. But I wasn't giving dad a pass when my mom had her lows but her condition was well managed for a lot of years and really only got bad again because he was having an affair for years and it destroyed her. He told me it still weighed heavily on him wondering when she'd decline again or when something might set her off. So I didn't like living with them and I didn't respect or accept her. It bothered my dad a lot and he tried many times to talk me into giving her a chance but I refused. While I lived with them my stepmother had two high risk pregnancies. I was expected to help her out more during them and I didn't. Whenever they tried to leave me with her I would make plans and stay out of the house. Or when she wanted my help I would ignore her. When he punished me for it I took the punishment and refused the next time it came up. He said family members, and especially household family members, help the high risk pregnant women. I told him I wasn't her family member and she wasn't mine and he said the baby would be if nothing else and I said no to that too. I told him he wasn't my family member anymore either. A few times he threatened to send me to live somewhere else but refused when he saw how badly I wanted that. My stepmother complained non-stop about my lack of consideration for her and my unwillingness to put her health and the baby's health before everything else. She was very annoyed when nothing made me feel guilty for not helping her. I moved in with my grandparents after my 18th birthday. They're dad's parents and we always had a good relationship but that has changed in the last couple of months because my stepmother is pregnant again and she's high risk again and she expects me to help her this time and I have refused again. My grandparents keep trying to change my mind and my stepmother won't accept my refusal and she keeps demanding I help her and it sets my grandparents off. I have looked into getting a place of my own but I honestly think I might just need to be homeless for a while because I won't help this woman. But they won't leave me alone either. I'm looking for advice because I don't know if there's more I could say to my grandparents to make them back off or if I could get my stepmother to shut the fuck up which would make them lay off because she's not chasing after me anymore. submitted by /u/ThrowRAQuella to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]