What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

My (30f) boyfriend (33m) left me 3 hours f…

Myself (30F) and my boyfriend (33M) went on a holiday this weekend. I am currently at my parent’s house, he is in our shared home. The reason I’m at my parents is my dad had to drive 3 hours to fetch me. Because my partner left me in the mountains after going into a rage over not being invited to a wedding and accusing me of cheating at said wedding. He threw a glass, broke my Garmin watch that he gifted me for my birthday and got in his car and left me. A lot of swearing and aggression and threats of suicide. He sent me a message saying “if I die tonight it’s your fault. Fuck you.” In the time we’ve been together he’s never behaved like this. Maybe a bit jealous and controlling from time to time. He shouted at other people, but not me. I know he was raised by an abusive father and has a lot of childhood trauma. My family want me to leave. He’s devestated with himself and so remorseful. He says he’ll do anything to fix this. Could he get better? Could we repair something like this? Or am I being naive? UPDATE: ex-boyfriend submitted by /u/Upbeat_Carry4987 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]