What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

I believe my (30F) boyfriend (37M) might d…

Last Saturday me and people from work had a dinner and a party afterwards to say goodbye to a coworker that is moving to a different branch on the other side of the country. After the restaurant many of us brought our bf's, gf's husbands and wifes as agreed and kept on partying. With time I got a bit drunk and at one point I was outside with a few coworkers that smoke. We ere talking about bad decision while being drunk and at one point I said something like "I got one of my daughters made on a nightclub bathroom and the other one on the beach one night". In our language it just sounds very ugly and irresponsible. My daughters are from two different men and they both fled after they knew I was pregnant. He didn't hear it because he was inside with the guys, but one of my coworkers told him, a woman. And I believe she did it because she wants him and this way she knew she would hurt our relationship. He is a widower and has a 5 yo daughter and he is the opposite of what I used to be. Calm, reliable, trustworthy, cheerful and a great father to his child. I can't believe I may lose him for something like this, we've been dating 6 months and I am in love with him, but alcohol took the best of me and I behaved like my old self that night and talked like I used to talk, and made an ass of myself. He went on a work travel on Monday and arrived today and told me he wants us to talk this afternoon and I fear he might dump me. How can I convince him I'm no longer that person and that I've changed? submitted by /u/ThrowRAVerano to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]