My 23F boyfriend 23M wants more of my time, but I feel like I barely have any left. Now he’s sending me “bare minimum girlfriend” TikToks

I feel like I’m going slightly insane over this. My boyfriend (23) and I (F23) have been together for a little over a year now. Overall, I absolutely adore him. He’s smart, caring, handsome, I never have to worry about him in social situations and he’s genuinely a great guy. As sad as it sounds, I don’t know if I’ve ever truly been in love with anyone, so I’m not even sure what that feeling is supposed to be like. I am aware that I have a very avoidant attachment to people but I care about him deeply. One thing is that I don’t find him particularly funny. I know that sounds horrible. He laughs a lot, and we do have fun together, but I’m usually laughing at situations we end up in or when he’s being unintentionally stupid rather than at his actual jokes. If anything, I think I’m probably the funnier one in the relationship. The bigger issue is that I’m a huge introvert and I really value my alone time. I genuinely enjoy spending time with him, but I also really look forward to going home and having my own space. We commute to and from work together three days a week, so we usually spend those evenings together too. The other two weekdays he works remotely, which means I realistically only get one evening completely to myself each week. By the weekend, I often feel like I haven’t had enough time to mentally recharge. It’s not that I don’t want to see him (I do) but I end up feeling drained because I never seem to get enough time alone. When I do choose to spend a weekend focusing on my own hobbies (painting, drawing, playing video games), he’ll sometimes complain that I’ve been sitting at my desk all day, don’t want to go out, or should be doing chores instead. The frustrating part is that I often can’t get those chores done when he’s at my place because he mostly sits on his phone and either I feel bad about not giving him attention or he complains that I’m not giving him enough attention. It feels like I’m expected to either entertain him or ignore everything else I need to do. Essentially, I have one evening after work each week to get all my chores done and try to mentally recharge before the next day, I’ve managed to get the weekends to myself so at least I don’t have to leave my house then. On top of that, I know I need to start working out because I’ve gained some weight, but with so little time to myself, I end up prioritising the hobbies that actually help me unwind. It makes me feel guilty for wanting time alone, and honestly it’s becoming exhausting. Now for the thing that’s actually driving me crazy. Lately, he keeps sending me TikToks that are basically along the lines of “come cook my husband’s lunch with me at 5 a.m.” or “things that are the bare minimum every girlfriend should be doing for her boyfriend.” Every single time I see one, I get irrationally angry. Maybe it’s because we both work full-time. Maybe it’s because we don’t even live together yet, although we’re planning to move in together soon. Whatever the reason, these videos make me feel like he’s trying to push some expectation that I should be taking care of him in a way I have absolutely no interest in doing. I genuinely don’t think anything he’s done in our entire relationship has irritated me more than these TikToks. And because I’m already feeling drained by the lack of alone time and the comments about how I spend my free time, those videos hit a nerve every single time. Do you think this is something that can be talked through? submitted by /u/Significant_Sea_4945 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]