What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

My (25F) friend (25F) copies me so much th…

I (25F) have a long-term friendship with this girl (25F) and recently, she's out of control. She dresses the same, gets the same haircut, puts on makeup exactly the way I do, has an unhealthy obsession with my fiancee (always wants to meet up, wants to go to the cities he works in because she has this "innocent" curiosity about those cities even though she has never showed interest before, always wants to know what we're up to, asks way too many personal questions about our relationship), buys whatever I buy, texts exactly like me, goes to my favorite places and acts like she discovered them in the first place to other people, befriends my every friend even though she expressed she didn't like them before. I've recently noticed that she's also always in a race with me: She smiles or laughs involuntarily when I make a mistake, doesn't celebrate my wins and constantly tries to one-up me. Recently, I have been diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune condition and now have to use medicine with heavy side effects, life has been so hard for me. She's convinced she also has this one in a million disease and repeatedly tells me so, plans doctor appointments to get her "diagnosis" and lists her "symptoms". Honestly, I'm convinced she has a psychiatric condition or a personality disorder. I've read and heard many stories about people with a friend who copies them but never saw one with a friend even wanting to have a debilitating disease just because they have it. I suspect it might be NPD. This person also resents me if I hang out with my friends without her and don't want to share my personal life with her. I think she feels entitled to my time and friendship. I want to cut her off or distance myself from her. But I'm scared of what lengths she can go to if I were to do so. I'm afraid she might start a smear campaign about me and try to ruin my life by exposing my secrets. Every post I've read said that these people do so when cut off. I have so much on my plate right now and don't want to deal with this. My question is this: How do I deal with this person without taking any damage? submitted by /u/impactfulcomment to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]