I [37M] have had enough of my girlfriends [32f] financial games

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years. Last year we decided her and her son could move in to my home. Before that we discussed bill and household responsibilities and came to agreement. We agreed that she would pay $500/mo and cover groceries and most basic necessities. I would cover all utilities and such. We would each pay our own phone bill, car payments, and insurance. My mortgage is about $2200/mo, and I earn a little more than twice what she earns. She previously paid $950/mo for rent not including utilities. I figured it was fair, we'd both benefit a little financially and she agreed. Even beyond that agreement I still purchase most of my own necessities and some groceries. Last fall I purchased a newer truck. Nothing fancy, a 2020 model with low miles. She would grief me on it that I'm using her 'rent' money to buy new things. My trade-in plus cash left me with $250/mo payments for 4 years. I had used savings from before she even moved in. In February she came home with a brand new SUV, and $925/mo payments. Since then she has been refusing to pay me the full amount, claiming she doesnt have enough money, it's not fair I got a 'new' car, and that it's my house and she shouldn't have to pay towards the mortgage because if we break up it'll just be money thrown away. I don't know how to navigate this, especially with a child involved. Even with her not paying it wont crush me financially, but it's obvious as hell she is taking advantage of me. I love the kid as my own, and his father is a deadbeat who doesnt want anything to do with him. I know if I kick her out she won't be able to afford rent with that car payment, not sure where they would go. I'd feel horrible letting that young child be forced to sleep in a car or on the streets. The relationship is over in my head, at this point I've given up just for civility, and pretending everything is fine. How do you think I should go about breaking it off? Do I give an ultimatum? Or just give her a period of time to figure things out knowing she will likely try to manipulate me, or possibly become more of a hindrance to me. UPDATE: There has been a lot of responses, I appreciate the advice! There are far too many questions, and comments to address individually. So, I will try to hit a bulk of them below. - First and foremost, we had the talk after we got home for breakfast. It was pretty civil. Yes, tears were shed. Even though I've been ready for the relationship to end, I do still care about them both, and I will miss them. Thankfully her parents are willing to take them but want a week or so to prepare. In the meantime, they will both stay here. I did leave room for open contact, and possible reconciliation if she chooses to figure out her finances and direction in life. She also mentioned she'd like for me to continue to be a figure in her sons' life (he is 7). Not sure what that entails. In the last few months things have actually been normal, besides the financial situation. She still maintained her roles throughout, was friendly, and yes, we were still intimate. It's just when the discussion of finances came up things would get really weird. I want to help, but I don't think she fully comprehends how bad of a decision it was. So, to all the people saying, "Kick her out" "Get rid of her", I'm not putting a child on the streets. Thankfully that won't be the case! "Her paying $500/mo 'rent', plus groceries and necessities could exceed what's fair for her to pay." I didn't get too into detail about shared/split expenses. She bought groceries that we ate at home. Almost nearly every time we left the house I paid. Whether it was meals, events, vacations, I covered the bulk of it. I shopped for and purchased a majority of meals I ate at work, which is both breakfast, and lunch. I'd also purchase snacks, as well as odds and ends. After added utilities, it likely broke even. We discussed finances pretty thoroughly before she moved in. I really didn't look at it as an opportunity for financial gain, I just didn't want to be put in a position where it's a hindrance, and it has become that. To add, she's not leaving my house empty handed. She can take anything she has brought into this house. She also has a brand new car! "Finances are the worst excuse to break up with someone, you're selfish" - Well, I've been open since day one about my need for financial security. I grew up poor, in a financially unstable home, my parents divorced when I was 3, my father chose drugs and alcohol and became absent. We rarely stayed in one place for over a year, meals were skipped, it wasn't until my teens until we had some stability. When I hit adulthood, I got an adult job, moved in with a friend, and managed to bury myself in debt. In my mid 20's, I had maxed out several credit cards, taken out high interest loans that I couldn't pay, and had bills sent to collections. Life was very rough for the next several years. I've worked extremely hard to dig myself out and create a stable life. Putting myself in that position again or even heading that way is a huge fear of mine. submitted by /u/Prior_Disaster4368 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]