What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

UPDATE: I (25F) don't want my boyfriend (2…

See the original post here. Sooooo.... I ended up breaking up with him! I want to start off by saying thank you to anyone who replied to the last post. I'm someone who can be blinded by the good in people, but your comments put things into perspective for me. I did end up showing him the post, and his initial reaction was that everyone commenting was a "single bitter bitch"... yeah. I had never heard him speak about anyone that way. I guess the mask finally dropped. A couple of hours after that, he ended up saying “fine, I won't ask your dad, just your mom." This was definitely just an attempt to save things since he could tell I was being distant with him. We dated for about another two months after that. I know, I know. I was trying to find ways to mend things (because I'm a dummy). After the initial convo I went through a fast track of realizations and saw that we were so misaligned in so many different ways. I'm not even sure how we had made it as far as we did. Eventually, it got to a point where I think he was just doing things to get me to break up with him since things clearly weren't working out. Some of those things include : - Taking a trip and staying with a friend that regularly cheats on her boyfriend. - Saying "I didnt sign up for a therapy session" every time I would try to talk through things. - Letting his phone die every time he went out. - Being overly cautious with his phone when we were previously pretty lax about opening each others phones. (Not in a snooping way, mainly for finding documents, responding to text or emails for one another, etc.) Unfortunately, the list goes on, but I'd rather not relive all of that! Clearly he got what he wanted and deserved though. He did the standard “oh no, please, we can work this out" song and dance for a couple of weeks after I broke up with him before finally giving up. I'm clearly not great at picking them, but I’m glad that I was able to get out of there before 2 years became 10 years. Again, thank you to anyone who gave advice on the original post. I really appreciate it! Im not much of a writer so i'm really sorry if this sucks! I hope this also answers a couple of questions(?) folks had in the comments of the original post. submitted by /u/Important_Talk8808 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]