What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

Absolutely. Your assessment answers are 100% private and anonymous. We use client-side encryption for sensitive data like exit plans, and your personal data is never sold or shared. You can also use our Quick Exit feature at any time.

Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

I really messed up by lying about my presc…

I fucked up. Really bad. I take full responsibility that this is all my doing. My husband and I have been married almost 13 years. I have always struggled with mental health. At one point many years ago, I mentioned to my husband about getting prescription medicine for it. He got upset and told me how bad of an idea he thought that was. Recently I decided I really needed help and got the prescription anyway. I did not tell my husband. Over the last 2 months I have been taking anti anxiety and anti depressant medication. I feel like it's helped me so much in a short period of time and was happy I finally made the leap. I planned to tell him once I realized it was helping and not something I just tried and decided it wasn't for me, but I just couldnt bring myself to it. Every time I wanted to tell him I just kept thinking that he would be upset, disapprove, and overall respect and love me less. I can't tell you how many times I had intentions of telling him but when I went to open my mouth nothing came out. I am a coward, yes. Last night I was doing my night-time routine and set my anxiety med on the counter with intention of taking it after. I forgot about it, went to bed, and my husband found it in the morning. I was half asleep when he first asked me about it and dumbly told him it was a pain reliever. Another fuck up. Within 10 minutes of that I broke down and told him everything. He is so upset with me and I don't blame him. He says he can't trust me if I can hide something like that every day. I never thought when I did this that it would reflect on my trustworthiness as a partner and I feel so ashamed. I can't believe I did something to make him question that. I love him more than anything and crave his love and respect and now I messed it all up. He left for work now and I just feel like wtf is wrong with me. How could I let this happen. Why did I feel so much shame I chose to hide it from my partner I love so much? Trying to think of how to fix this but I really dont know. So scared I just ruined my relationship and I have only myself to blame. ETA: Ty all for your responses, they were not what I was expecting. I don't think I gave my husband enough credit in the original message. He is very sweet and caring, his mom has some issues with prescription meds and I think that's where the stigma is coming from. Also, this all just happened so I'm hoping tomorrow we can have a better conversation about it. submitted by /u/Prestigious_Cap2724 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]