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I (18M) celebrated my birthday without my…

I (18M) turned 18 a few weeks ago. My mom told me she wanted me to have a big family dinner at a restaurant instead of a party. She asked me where I wanted to eat and I told her my top two choices. One I wasn't sure if they would be booked out or not so I gave a backup. She told me she was cool with that and I let her do her thing with everything else. Two weeks before my birthday I found out that she had changed the restaurant because my 6 year old stepsister didn't like the food type and she instead chose her favorite restaurant without telling me. I checked it was true with my mom and we got into a fight. Then I told her to call it off or expect me not to show. She asked me why I was being so childish and I told her she was choosing to cater to someone else's tastes over mine for my birthday. She defended the decision and asked me why I wouldn't want to let my stepsister choose and she said it made her so happy to get the place she loves. I asked my mom whose birthday it was supposed to be. Then she asked me if I really wanted her to upset my stepsister and I told her I didn't care since she didn't care about ruining my plans. She said my stepsister would be miserable in the restaurants I chose and I said that wasn't my problem. My mom said that was so selfish and she's my little sister. I rolled my eyes and she told me she doesn't know a life where I'm not her brother and if she was my real sister I'd be okay with it. I told her I wouldn't be okay with it if she did it without me saying it was okay. The fight went on for 5 days and I decided to move out instead of the fight continuing so much. My mom's husband would try to intervene and he basically told me to grow up and expected that to defuse things. My mom never changed the plans and the three of them and a few of my mom's family and her husband's family showed up but I didn't go and a lot of guests didn't go. I also ignored my mom's calls that day. A few days later she texted and said she wanted to talk to me so I said we could talk on the phone. She told me it was her first time not celebrating my birthday with me and she hated it. I told her to blame herself and her choices. She asked me to be kinder about it because she just wanted to make my stepsister happy and she went on and on about how little she is and how she thought I'd want to make her happy. I hung up because I didn't want to hear more. A few days after that she apologized and asked if we could celebrate my birthday just the two of us and make up for the disaster dinner. I told her I'd think about it. My gut instinct was to tell her to fuck off and leave me alone. Another part of me loves her and doesn't want this to be a forever fight. But this isn't the first issue we had when it comes to the step stuff. She was really upset I wasn't excited to have a stepsister and that I didn't want to call her my sister. She was upset when I didn't want to do a Father's Day football game with her husband two years ago. I had to drop out of a digital art class I used to take because she wanted that afternoon for one to one time with my stepsister and I didn't drive at the time and nobody else could take me. I was not happy which upset her because she thought I'd go along with it. She would also get upset with me not taking home treats to my stepsister when I ate out with friends or went to the store and she would cry that I wasn't as affectionate and loving as a brother and she wanted me to be. This feels like another version of all that and I think it'll keep being an issue so I'm not sure if another try is worth it. But I wanted advice because I'm not 100% committed to the fuck off method but it's still what my gut tells me to do. submitted by /u/ThrowRA_Broodyn to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]