Caught my tech-savvy wife (32F) manually spoofing her location and lying about it to me (32M). We’ve been together for 5 years. What is she actually doing?

My wife (32F) and I (32M) both work in tech and have been together for 4 years, married for 2. When we first got together, I didn't want to share locations at all. It was entirely her idea and she pushed for it heavily. Since then, she has tracked my location like a hawk and questions me if anything looks even slightly off. On top of the tracking, her digital surveillance of me is extreme. She goes through my text messages and has literally searched and read messages from before we were even dating. She has scanned my entire Reddit history and still holds it over my head if a woman's name ever appeared in my past. In the beginning, she would secretly go into my phone to track new friends, check my Snapchat messages and photos, and even cross-reference my LinkedIn connections with my Facebook friends. She claims she acts this way because a toxic ex used to track her digitally, so she mastered the technology to do it back. Personally, I think she just uses that story as a shield to justify controlling me. Recently, I noticed a weird pattern. Her shared location always showed her at home on weekends, even when I knew she was out. She has a personal phone and a work phone, and I realized she had her location sharing set to her work device, which she intentionally leaves behind on weekends to act as a decoy. To test my theory, two weeks ago I went into her settings and manually changed her location sharing back to her personal device. A couple of days ago, I noticed she went back into her settings, manually toggled it back to the work phone, and left it at home again. Yesterday, she was gone for the entire morning and afternoon. When I checked, her standard location said she was safely at home. I also checked Snapchat Maps, where she is usually visible to everyone, and her location was suddenly completely gone from there too. This means she explicitly opened Snapchat on her personal device and turned on Ghost Mode. She completely severed every digital thread before going out. When she got back, I decided to give her a truth test. I asked a casual question about why her location wasn't updating. She staged a massive performance, acting completely shocked and saying how sketchy it looked and that she didn't get why it wasn't working. Then she tried a soft technical excuse, saying it must be because she's logged into Apple on her work phone. I called her out directly and told her she would have had to change it herself because it was on her personal phone last week. She immediately got incredibly angry, got defensive by yelling why would she ever do that, and swiftly changed the subject. She has now had 24 hours to cook up a rehearsed story to patch the holes in her tech excuses, and I know she will try to bring it up today to clear her name. I know for a fact that she is manually creating a digital alibi to go completely dark on weekends while keeping my life under a total microscope. For those who have dealt with highly analytical, controlling partners: What is the most likely reality of what she is doing when she goes through this much operational security to hide her whereabouts? How do I handle the rehearsed story she is definitely preparing to tell me? submitted by /u/Dapper-Turn8126 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]