What is the Gottman Four Horsemen?

The Four Horsemen are four communication patterns that Dr. John Gottman identified as predictors of relationship breakdown with 93% accuracy: Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (treating your partner with disrespect), Defensiveness (making excuses or playing the victim), and Stonewalling (withdrawing and shutting down). Our Red Flag assessment is based on this research.

How do I know if my relationship has red flags?

Red flags include patterns of controlling behavior, lack of respect, dishonesty, emotional manipulation, isolation from friends/family, and any form of abuse. Our free 37-question assessment helps identify these warning signs based on proven psychological research.

Is the relationship assessment quiz free?

Yes, all core assessment tools on CheckYourRelationship are completely free. This includes the Red Flag Detector, Safety Assessment, Compatibility Check, and access to our Q&A community. We believe safety tools should never be paywalled.

Is my assessment data private?

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Should I marry my partner quiz - how accurate is it?

Our 'Should I Marry Them?' assessment helps you identify deal-breakers and compatibility factors based on research from the PREPARE/ENRICH program used by over 4 million couples worldwide. While no quiz can make your decision for you, it provides evidence-based insights to help you make an informed choice.

My 28F Fiancée Moved out with our 28F room…

I've been dating my fiancée for nearly 10 years at this point we met when we were college freshman and started dating 3 weeks after meeting. I'll admit our relationship wasn't always perfect but we made it work. we went through ups and downs together all throughout college. I wasn't always the most loving partner but I tried to be extremely supportive to her when times were tough. I tried to help her in every way I possibly could. When we graduated I moved back home because I was better off in my hometown trying to find a career that would match my degree. My fiancée followed moved out to my area about a year after I started my career and we were able to afford to rent a decent town house. She was very insistent that I propose to her and expressed she'd be mad if she made it past 9 years without being proposed to. Last September I proposed to her and she said yes. Fast forward to this week. We had an extremely fun weekend visiting friends in central PA. We were smiling, joking around with each other and just having a generally good time. When we got back home from this weekend trip I noticed our roommate's desk and pc had been moved out of the office. When I asked my partner about it she just brushed it off and told me "it's no big deal that our roommate wanted to play more pc games in their room." I thought it was odd but no big deal. I had asked my Fiancée to help me wake up and get into work earlier this morning. She helped me get up and we left around 5:10 in the morning for our usual shifts. I got back at 2:10 this afternoon to discover the house looked emptier than usual. When I went around the house I discovered that all my possessions were untouched but my roommate's and my fiancée's were gone. I've tried texting and calling my fiancée but she won't respond. Neither will my roommate. I was worried about letting my roommate move in. She's my fiancée's best friend and my fiancée would always take her side over mine. I felt sorry for her though because her fiancée was caught cheating on her this same time last year. This roommate started making my fiancée feel like I had unresolved red flags that I actively tried to correct throughout the year. I just don't know what to do now. I had a whole life with her. She was the girl I wanted to marry and improve myself for. She showed no signs of wanting to leave or planning any of this. I feel totally blindsided. We literally kissed each other this morning and said see you after work. I'm sorry if this post is seems really scatter brained. I feel like my brain is moving at light speed. TLDR: My fiancée of 10 years secretly moved out with her best friend while I was at work and ghosted me. Where Do I even go from here? Edit 1: My ex roommate is a lesbian who clearly had feelings for my ex Edit 2: My ExFiancee usually would wake up at 4:30 to leave at 5. I usually would wake up at my own at 5:30 to leave at 6. This was the one and only time I asked her to wake me up at 4:30. submitted by /u/ThrowRA2222777888 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]